Mood:
vegas luckyWow! It's been a hella of two years for the kid!
You've watch the break-up information, the long silence from me and how on my other pages I've told the whole story. But God is good! All the time his is wonderful!
My life has taken a miraculous turn and now I'm in a new location with a new love of my life and all is right with the world again! Still working on my screenplays and I've even gotten opportunities to be back on the radio again. And that is ideal. But along with all the good there is always a little bad. My beautiful woman doesn't know all my history and in her small world the things I do and aspire to are all foreign to her. In the small city we live now, "Brothers" are a rare commodity and the ones that do live here are not what you would call ambitious. Matter of fact, I've only met one that that even has wishes to go further than the local 7-Eleven and hang out. So when I hit the scene, the people I've met are amazed at my abititious nature and the drive I show in all I do, plus the drive to accomplish what I say I want. This really surprises me, but I am not letting the fact that I seem a special person in a city where an intelligent black man is a prized rarity give me a big head. I'm taking it all in stride, but I feel like being such is also a wonder to my girl who would hope that I just get a job and settle into the status quo.
I want to do all I can for my woman. You know how I am and have seen the mess I went through trying to please the ex who didn't appreciate what she had or the fact that I built her career through my marketing to the point where she finally felt she no longer needed me and was so smart that she knew everything. I wonder how she's getting along now without me, but that's neither here not there anymore. I am happy, but I want to make this lady happy also. I just don't want to settle for anything just because it's a paycheck.
So there's the quandry. I've been offered jobs... good jobs by this city's standards. But I'm feeling depressed about accepting them because they are the type that will lead to the death of my spirit and amibitions to do so much more. I keep thinking I'll settle into one and although I am so happy with my lady at this point, if I get into something just because we need additional income, when will I start to resent her for taking what I really didn't want?
I've got the chance to be back on the radio broadcastin in a market that needs the energy I know I could present (they only have one station that even remotely sounds like what we have in Washington or LA, and it's just starting to get hot. But I don't have the means to copy my airchecks here and carry around the only one I think is good to each and every station I apply to. That's a trip in itself because most don't have time to sit and listen at the times I come in. My resume' has been a God-send so far because as I've said I have more skills than I seen displayed anywhere here... at least by a black man.
So what to do? That's where I am. I don't want the loving look on the face in my precious one's eyes to change because she doesn't understand or thinks I'm not trying hard enough to provide, but how can I keep ME happy as well, when there's not that much offered in a city that has so much potential for the talents I bring? Time is what I need, but I I feel it's getting short and I don't want anything to spoil the heaven I'm in.
Anyway, nice to have and be in love again. I just hope I can be all that I know I can be, and that the wait for something good doesn't take too long.
Just my thoughts today all. Besides all that, I am doing quite well. and I know if I stick it out, nothing but good will keep coming. So you know me... I never give up.
Hope you all are doing well too.
Write long... and write well.
